Pale Houses- I am Your Knife

  I am Your Knife- PALE HOUSES (Mat Cothran and iamyourholiness collaboration) by KIDSTVSHOW  

    Pale Houses was a collaboration with Mat Cothran from Coma Cinema and myself in Nov 2009. More than likely this will be the only one of the songs I'll be releasing with the exception of a remix for track 2 with a video. Would have loved to record more with Mat but we decided to part ways for reasons called life is beautiful and terrible and strange, so, with that in mind, i hope you enjoy the track!

***Sports Trivia- iamyourknife was my aol instant messenger name in 1998. It was later changed to iamyourholiness in 2003 when I began recording for the first time and is the name of all my solo projects.

(conversations) my love-hate relationship with love-hate.

i love you.

i hate you.

you mean the world to me.

you mean nothing.

i would have given you the world.

no, give yourself your own fucking world.

i just want to be with you.

i'm not even sure that's true.

i can't get you out of my head.

you scarred me pretty badly.

i miss the way you smell.

animal pheromones.

i accept you for who you are.

not the part that lies, obviously.

you write beautiful poetry.

most of what you say is bullshit.

i think you are gorgeous.

just before i remember your ugliness.

i want to give you my heart.

you shattered it the first time.

i think i'm in love with you.

only the thought of you.

i miss not having you in my life.

definitely for the best.

i learned so much from this experience.

i regret everything.

i wish we could have been more honest and direct with each other.

i was afraid and still am.

there is a first time for love.

Never thought it would be this way.

THE TENNIS PLAYERS

"The Tennis Players"

Collaboration, Mark Latta and LVF

pseudo joy giver

He melted away, and still has a smile on his face.

duality speaks

...and it's ok.

local club scene

thank you for shopping

RANDOM WORDS. MORE RANDOM WORDS. SOUND OPTIMISTIC. SAY THE WORD LOVE AT LEAST ONCE EVERY TIME. BE CLICHE. GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR. BE A COMPLETE FRAUD.HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY. I AM SURFACE.

'Hello anonymous...
Have you considered you may just be a tad bit sociopathic?'
REJECT.
MUST KEEP PRETENDING.
Built it all up.
Worked too hard.
Image is important.
I care what people think.
I am a follower.
I am an illusory projection I truly wish I believed.
... How did you get in?

'It is me.
It's been 13,000 years since the last time we spoke.
I don't even know what they call you nowadays.
But i've come to show you something.'


'I have thousands of followers.
I can make babies with whomever i choose.
I tell them what they want to hear because it is what i want to hear.
If it is not what i want to hear
I demonize you until every part of me rises above your hell fire flames.
i am god.
and god is perfect.'

'but you are the fire...
the time bomb waiting to explode and massacre every existing emotion but anger and fear.
I saw it.
I smelled it.
deep down, that is what you know.
deep down, you're afraid of dying.
i'm sorry that i have to tell you this way, but you are a complete fake...

everyone was right.
You have become
flesh.
It is impossible to go beyond the surface.
Any attempt will make you crack.
Issues hidden, somewhere between your spleen and your shadow.
the sound of truth is way too much for you.
i didn't come to destroy you.
but to remind you of who you are.

divorced from reality.
a fake peace.
a misguided dragon.
you chopped off his wings and consumed his fire.
gave him a smile.

beach hair

Above My Bed

Chaos Meets Bliss

godsent.

the universe engraved it

on my pillow

and on my wrist.

i'd kiss it

and would fall into heaven

right before

i'd float into hell.

i never thanked you

because i was too afraid

to feel that good

when all i knew

was the havoc

that i'd open my mouth to.

i never knew you.

but i'm getting to know me.

i thanked every piece of the throat

that broke you down,

that broke me down.

i thanked every spirit of rebellion

that drove you away and sank right back into me.

i thanked every demon i felt i was

and every light she gave me

so that you too, could understand yourself.

i thanked the ground for splitting in two

and holding a promise that one day

i could be just as beautiful as you.