it sucks to be human

i wanted.
that was my first mistake.
to feel human;
to get caught up in the world
and be vulnerable.
to love like ive never loved before
and feel that love in return.
just before it got ugly
just before you got ugly.
now that ugliness consumes
because its part of the universal balance of things.
eating away at our very cores.
eating away at our everything.
there is only Nothing.
its a cruel joke,
the nature of things.

Glass and Bags

view the gallery

bananas

i met a beast

hypnotized,
count down from 10.
stared into the corner of dawn.
i see
a beautiful beast
serene
like unmoved water.
i want to touch it
to find a moving stillness
of everything that surrounds me.
i feel more life than ever
in this half asleep dream.

i get closer,
to understand what it is i'm seeing
but it's all changed.
your once majestic face
expands like a frilled neck lizard
snapping, with claws for teeth.
chirps of furious insecurities,
shaking, like a boy in puberty.
vomiting your inner ugliness
like rays of the sun-
shining on me, shining on you,
exposing what you are...
brilliant hate
embodied as my love.
so lets compromise, indeed.
not about substance,
but about your place in my heart.
ill give anything to get you out.

there's a ghost at my door i recognize. she's got my life in her hands.

lack as inspiration

i never faked it.

the universe just responded faster to my sincerity

than you or i could have ever done.

of all the things we have in common,

we both know

pain makes for the prettiest music.

tragic poetry like mine.

it's all a novel,

that tears your heart up.

feeding on imaginary sorrows,

missing that kind of love.

i send thank you notes to the skies because im happy.

but i also can't write because of it.

you sing about a loss that's inspired you.

i only know how to do the same.

creation.

inspiration.-

to myself, at least,

only comes from longing.

true love makes me disappear,

but pain brings me closer.

vague poem

gonna write a vague poem

to tie around my finger.

a secret meal.

like a one time birthday wish.

a distance that tears me apart.

there, i saw a vow in your eyes.

it meant more to me than

words drizzled in honey.

but illusion brought me more

than you've ever said to me.

so i dance with the thought of something.

even if it's not you...

rather than complimenting a longing

that only you can endure.

i got tired of being a masochist.

wary of waiting for the sun.

my nature is to love and love, fully.

it's torture to pretend that it's not.

so give me something

because i can't keep it locked.

it's a black box

full of dreams and passionate song.

i took a sledge hammer to pry it open

took a peak of its' beauty

to write you.

Experimenting with MERECK

Mike Gowan + iamyourholiness

Mike Gowan + iamyourholiness - Mereck by KIDSTVSHOW

Talking Baby Mushrooms

I am the mushroom. Living, growing, breathing, speaking my own tongue. Living a life span within seconds. Sharing the universe and the infinite experience with everything that surrounds me.

Salvia changed my life.

copyright 2011

your eyes are a well

no matter how much you try

to fool me, fool you-

your eyes give it away.

they sing -

tiny daggers through my heart 

from all their beauty

and all their pain. joy. slasher massacre.-

reminding me of how awesome it is

to feel that again;

no more violence for dreams,

your presence disarms me.

your song,

like creeping death at the bottom of a wishing well-

found its way to me

just before your last breath.

just before my last ...