a knife without a blade

a year to let go, to pass us by
is a knife without a blade.
a year to miss and reminisce
drunken forlorn,
it doesn't matter.
a year to perceive 
our own reflection.
creation, addictions, separation.
the choices we've made,
madness,
to punish with no comfort.
lovers without their other.

how much have you accomplished?
in chaos, have you found silence?
what is beautiful to you now?

a year to go out, to get it all out.
to do all the things i needed to do.
to purge whatever i've consumed-
a year,
if we would have made it through.





 

the lovers: two united but distinct

i watched you watch me from afar. white light came to me like a loyal servant whose name i called, willing and ready, piercing through my being, showing me who truly is master. the light was my own and yet it came from you as if you live on a star. i stood in the center of an 8 spoke wheel and walked what i thought was a familiar path, only to find you manifest before me in all your glory, illuminating me with your strict judgment, putting me to shame for my lack of faith. i disgusted myself, for i fear your greatness. And i held on to the image of your face unable to cross the abyss without it, for it would have been our annihilation and i'm much too fond of you to leave you for you...

gammas

my car died.
i was stalled for 2 hours
and yet, there you were.
the work of a cosmic conspiracy.
a higher form of magick that is beyond me.

and i hesitate for a moment
before i walk into the co-creation dream.
im always unsure.
we're both always shook.
our wills, they have a mind of their own.
we manifest one another
but nothing ever changes. 
we still can't face each other.

our conscious is chaotic.
you are my desire and fear incarnate.
my dream and my shadow.
i'm getting to know you on a different level.
you're closer to me than ever
pretending to be strangers.
it sometimes makes it difficult,
remembering time and space.
a tantric dance fueled by the same but opposite natures-
learning the virtues of patience and strength;
the meaning of true love.
it's a passion that creates gammas;
that look in your eyes.
i want to jump in there and kiss you,
let the stars read our story.

echoes

yesterday's memories wash ashore like today's dreams on a harbor.
they crash unto my being like hard slaps;
waves of reality
move me at the core.
penetrating my soul
like an astral projection.
i see you're really good at that.

countdown from ten.
still hypnotized,
floating above the waters.
i see where the ocean meets the sun;
where the sun meets the land.
it was sundown and the sky was pink.

do you remember?
remember the time we got married?
you gave me away to yourself in a dream we both had.
we woke up happy.

i casted you out to sea for that pearl in your eyes.
it's lost somewhere between the depths and the skies.
it's got my promise on it.
your promise is my veil,
recalling your love like an echo around my finger.